Happy New Year

An update on the Bise family:

Since the annual sending out of a Christmas card and family Christmas letter failed to materialize again this year, I will note it here for those who are interested.

First of all, we moved.  We still live in Newman Lake, but we finally built a house on the farm. We moved the day after Christmas 2014 and sold our home sweet home on the lake.  The kids have missed the old house some, but Troy and I have not missed it very much at all.  It was an amazing home to raise the kids in, but being built in 1937, it had a lot of kinks.

The new home:  12532 N. McCoy Rd, Newman Lake, WA

Our Christmas season officially began here in the Spokane/CDA region with a massive windstorm, which hit us on November 17th.  Winds blew steadily at over 80 mph, enough to be compared to hurricane force winds.  Power was knocked out to almost 1,000,000 customers, including us.  We were lucky.  Our power was only out for 4 days.  Many friends and neighbors had their power out for 9 days.

My nephew posted a Facebook entry on how important it is that we learn to live off the grid in the case of our U.S. power system being taken out by bad guys.  The post suggested turning off your power for a week and seeing what you would need to survive.  Well, I can tell you that you need water.  You need heat.  And you need the internet.

Troy bought the last available generator at North 40 the morning after the windstorm.  We had already wired our new home to take a generator. Because our water is run through the barn electricity, we did have to move the generator daily to turn on the water, water the animals, shower and fill up our jugs.  We had been trying to install our woodburning stove since August, but one mishap after another slowed dow the install.  The chimney wasn't built to code, parts were missing, etc.  So not having heat was the worst part of the 4 day outage (we did run small space heaters in 2 bedrooms with the generator.)

We survived that and moved on... except that the Sunday before Christmas, it started snowing. And snowing. Until almost 3 feet of snow had fallen.  The trees were heavy.  The trees started snapping. The power went out again.  First on Tuesday for about 4 hours.  Then on Wednesday from noon till 7 pm. Then on Thursday, Christmas eve, it went out at 12:30 am and was out until 9 pm.  But this time we had heat and WiFi and we were happy.  Again, many of our friends and neighbors were without power Christmas day and beyond.

So here's the news on the kids:

Robbie and Kate had a baby this year!  We are grandparents of darling, adorable Finnick Thiel Bise, born in April.  Lucky for us, Robbie did his internship in Liberty Lake and the three of them moved in with us in August and stayed with us until last week.  We adored having a baby in the house (and loved having Rob and Kate with us too.) It was so fun to get to know this little guy and watch his personality develop.  Kate graduated from BYU-I last December and Robbie will graduate in July.

Dallin is serving a 2 year mission for our church in the Chicago area.  He will be home in April, 2016.  We have missed him, but love hearing from him on a weekly basis.  He has loved serving as a missionary, helping people in so many ways.  Although he's been in some scary and difficult situations, his faith and testimony of the Savior have increased.  What a blessing it is to serve as a missionary.

Jordon graduated from High School in June.  He worked two jobs all summer and saved enough money to pay for his first year at college.  He survived the first semester at BYU-I just fine, learning how to grocery shop, do laundry and take care of himself!  Because of the large number of kids attending BYU-I, the school uses a track system to allow the greatest number of enrollees possible.  Jordon is on the Fall/Spring track, so he will stay here until April, when Spring semester begins.  Luckily, a family friend had a job opening, so he will be able to work and save more money!

Cadie and Charli are Juniors this year.  They enrolled in Running Start, allowing them to attend the local community college full time with credits transferring to the high school for graduation.  They both ran track last spring and Cross Country again this fall.

Cadie has become very interested in photography and has done several photo shoots for friends to help develop her skills.  She also enjoys music and especially musical theatre.

Charli spent a lot of time iceskating last winter and is hoping to start that back up in January.  She also enjoys writing, creating and Twenty-one Pilots (her very favorite band).

Cami is 10 this year.  She is in 4th grade.  She is the friendliest kid you'll ever meet.  She has no enemies and loves everyone around her.  She loves to be creative and has a teacher this year that is inspiring her to write stories.  She also loves animals and  got a pony of her own for her birthday.

Troy has been working for the Lexmark for the past 4-5 years.  In his free time, he loves farming, growing a garden and getting his fruit trees to produce.  He enjoys raising his 8 cows, 2 bulls and 1 steer.  He works hard and works smart for our family and we are so thankful for him.

Troy meets Ray Benson of Asleep at the Wheel

I started working this year, thinking that I should get some work experience using my degree.  I walked into the most amazing job and was hired pretty much on the spot.  I am a Family Service Coordinator for ECEAP (Washington's Head Start) at a Child Development Center.  I work with super low income families helping them to set goals and meet their needs.

I think that is all.  We are blessed to live in such a beautiful area and be surrounded with our amazing family and good friends and neighbors.  We are truly blessed.

Hugh and Sharron come visit and meet Red, the cow.

Collier Family reunion in Lincoln City, OR (PC Kalli)

Sunshine in March

Tidbits...

Cami gave our Family Home Evening lesson tonight.  She told us a story she had learned in Primary.  It went something like this.

"There were these guys who decided to go fishing in their boat.  I think they went fishing for like 3 days, but they didn't catch anything, so they came home.  This guy named Jesus told them to throw their nets over the boat.  They caught so many fish that the nets broke and the boat almost sank.  Then Jesus told them to be fishers of men."

Good story, Cami.  What does it mean to be "Fishers of Men?"

"It means that you go out and catch some men and tell them about the gospel!!"

I love how she thinks!  She is so stinking cute!!

On Tuesday, we had our first calf born. Troy was gone.  So it was all me.  The cow was a first timer.  I noticed that the birthing had started around 10:30 am.  At 11:30, I went out to check on her.  (Usually experienced mamas will give birth within an hour, new mamas typically take 2) The hooves were out, but nothing else...  She was uncomfortable.  She was not happy.  She didn't even look big enough to push out a 75 pound baby...  I watched her for an hour....  she'd get up, then lay down, then up, then down...  I started to really get worried.  I called the vet, but he was at lunch until 1.  So I googled what to do.  Because it had now been over 2 hours, I read that you can sometimes feel where the nose is and then reach up and over to help pull a baby calf out.  Ummm, seriously?  But I didn't want her to die.  And I didn't want the baby to die. So I tried to reach in there and pull the head out.  (Yes, I put my hand up the back end of a cow.)  

The Vet was back in the office, but had one appointment first.  He wanted me to try to put her in the pen so that when the he came, we could help her...  While I was gathering halters and bribes (grain), thank heavens she had that baby.  I looked out the barn door and saw a black heap by her back side.  She was just laying there.  So I went and pulled the baby the rest of the way out.  The mama jumped right up then, and started loving on her new calf.  It was a boy.  I called the vet and said never mind.  He said, "You're a good vet, Collette!"  Haha.  Dad and I laughed about that the rest of the day.

Gospel Teaching in the Home

(A talk I gave in Church a few weeks ago...)

When we were young parents, Troy and I had aspirations to be the greatest gospel teachers in the home.  We decided that our children would only watch the Living Scriptures videos.  You know what they are, right?  Scripture stories made into cartoons… where the kids can watch and follow the story of scripture heroes.  They will learn and understand the gospel, right?

One night, when Robbie, my oldest was 3, he stacked two chairs on top of each other.  Then he asked if I could help him stack more chairs.  Then he wanted to add the bar stools.  I asked him why we were stacking these chairs and stools so high.  We were almost to the ceiling.  He said, “I’m building a tower to the Lord.”  Yeah.  Like the tower of Babylon. As in the Living Scripture Video about the Brother of Jared from the Book of Mormon.  Fail.

A week later, I took my two boys to the store in the car.  They were bugging each other and Dallin kept touching Robbie.  Robbie would yell to stop and then hit Dallin.  So I had a talk with Robbie.  I told him he couldn’t hit Dallin and that he needed to try and stay in control.  He could just move over where Dallin couldn’t reach him.  We continued on our way, until I heard these words:  “If you touch me again, I will shock you.  Isn’t that right mom?  Because I am filled with the spirit and I can shock him.”

Oh my goodness.  We stopped watching Living Scripture videos and started watching Barney.

When I think of this topic, Gospel Teaching in the Home, many thoughts come to mind as to how I can be a better teacher to my family.  The “ if only’s” come now that my kids are older.  “If Only” I could have been as well organized as….  “If only” I had been more consistent at….  “If Only” we had taught that when they were young….

I saw a cartoon the other day.  It said, “At the end of the day, Did you let your 3 year old drive the car?  No?  See, you are a good mom!”

And I am here to tell you that no matter what you feel you are lacking in gospel teaching, or anything else for that matter, you are a good mom.  A good father.  A good brother, sister, grandparent.  You are doing your best in the circumstances you’ve been put in with the best knowledge you have at this time to love the Lord and to teach your families the gospel.

Today I want to focus on an often overlooked gospel teaching that should be center to our gospel teaching in the home.

I’m making a claim here that I am going to back up with scripture.  The often overlooked gospel principle is happiness. 

Joseph Smith once said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it.”

Happiness is the object and design of our existence.

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim of human existence.”

The Declaration of Independence gives us the inalienable right of the “pursuit of happiness”.

Even Bobby McFerrin sings, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

In 2^nd Nephi, we learn that after all Nephi’s people have been through… Left their homes, their riches, traveled in the wilderness, camping in tents for years, building a boat that they didn’t know how to build, coming to the promised land and building a new society, having to leave that because of huge family issues and then moving to a new site… in 2 Nephi 5:27, Nephi says, after all of this, “we lived after a manner of happiness.” (From Elder Holland talk)

We learn two things here.  One, that happiness is the object of our existence and two, happiness must be worked towards.  Heavenly Father doesn’t just give us happiness.  It is something that we must work for on a daily basis.  It is a battle that we can’t ever stop fighting for.  “Pursuit of happiness”, “pursue the path that leads to it”, “live after a manner of happiness.”

In Alma 27:18, we read that as Ammon reunited with his brethren after his mission to teach the Lamanites, he was overcome with joy.  The scripture says, “was not this exceeding joy?  Behold this is joy which none receiveth save it be the humble seeker of happiness.”

So how do we seek for happiness?  How do we teach this amazing gospel principle in our homes and to our families?

Elder Holland, in a talk he gave at a BYU-I devotional last September, gives us some suggestions.

He says, “Above all else, ultimate happiness, true peace, and anything even remotely close to scriptural joy are found first, and forever in living the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

We teach our children, our spouses, our grandchildren that only living the gospel can bring happiness. Many things have been tried, many books have been written.  But living the gospel brings us ultimate happiness.

What is living the gospel?  Being kind, when being kind doesn’t seem warranted.  Forgiving quickly and easily even when you did no wrong.  Loving unconditionally. Not only should we teach and show this kind of example within our homes, but this “gospel living” should be extended to everyone and anyone we meet.  And so, when your child has a bad experience at school with a friend or a foe, instead of turning all “momma bear”, we should listen and then help our children to understand and then do what Christ would do in that situation.

My oldest Robbie used to have a kid that would pick on him and pick at him constantly in elementary school.  The kid was relentless.  He would bully, he would call names, he would make fun of him.  Robbie and I talked about what he could do.  He tried moving to a different seat on the bus.  He tried ignoring it. Nothing worked.  One day, I suggested that perhaps the kid didn’t have many friends and that is why he treated Robbie and others so badly.  I said, “I wonder what would happen if you invited him over to go fishing?”  Robbie REALLY didn’t want to do that.  He did it though.  He invited the kid over and the kid came and fished and never, ever bugged Robbie again, except to ask when they could go fishing again….

Teaching our children to love others, to understand human nature and circumstances and to understand life through Christ’s eyes… that is gospel living and that leads to happiness.

Brother Holland cautioned against gossiping, backbiting, saying unkind things about others.  Even if we are doing it only within the walls of our homes, we are not living the gospel…. Our children hear it, and they pick up on it… 

Mother Theresa said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.  Be the living expression of God’s kindness; Kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

That is what we want to teach in our homes.  That is living the gospel.  It’s not all about the number of meetings you attend.  It’s not just about going to church every Sunday.  It’s not about how perfect you are at holding Family Home Evening.  Having Family Scriptures and family prayer.  Those things are important and will bless your lives, but it is really about teaching our children and our families to internalize living the gospel.  Choosing to be kind because it makes you or them happier.  Choosing to step outside your or their comfort zone to help someone else in need.  Choosing to smile even when you are having a bad day.  Living as Jesus Christ lived.  That is how we achieve happiness.

Avoid contention and anger. Don’t give voice to negative thoughts.  Elder Holland also says, “I plead with you not to waste a lot of time or energy or emotion thinking happiness is going to be in how much money you make or what size of house you live in or how attractive you are.  Happiness comes first by what comes into your head, a long time before material blessings come into your hand.”

Happiness is the gospel.  When this life is over, we learn in the Book of Mormon that we can obtain eternal happiness.  That is the goal.  That is why we are here in this world, in these circumstances, going through these experiences and having these trials.  We are working towards the goal of never-ending happiness. 

In Mormon 9:14, we read that when the judgement of the Holy One comes upon us, “he that is happy shall be happy still… and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still.”

Now if you are thinking ….Well I’m not happy, so there is no hope from me to achieve that…. Lets read the next vese.

“And now all ye that have imagined up unto yourselves a God who can do no miracles (because that is what you are imagining if you don’t believe you can learn happiness) God has not ceased to be a God of miracles.!”

Jesus said in John 14, “I am the way, the truth and the life…. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name… that will I do… if ye shall ask ANY thing in my name, I will do it.” He is a God of miracles and all you have to do is follow Jesus Christ and then ask for happiness and He will show you the path.  He cannot give it to you, just as you cannot give it to your children…  but He says, “that will I Do”.. Help me find happiness…”That will I do.”

I will close with Elder Hollands words:  In Alma’s counsel to his son Corianton he tells him how those who inherit the kingdom of God will be raised to happiness according to our desires of happiness.  “But he also sternly cautions: “Do not suppose that (without repentance) ye shall be restored form sin to happiness.  Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.”  Sin is the anithese of living “after the manner of happiness.”  Indeed those who believ otherwise, Alma says, “are without God in the world and… have gonce contrary to the nature of God: therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness.”

“I ask you to reject transgress in order to live consistent with the nature of God, which is the nature of true happiness.  Pursue the path that leads to it.

Dysgraphia

Cami is 9 years old.  She loves animals.  She loves music.  She loves to play with friends. She has dysgraphia.  Here is a link for understanding dysgraphia:
http://www.interdys.org/ewebeditpro5/upload/Understanding_Dysgraphia_Fact_Sheet_12-01-08.pdf

Cami didn't crawl until she was 13 months old.  She didn't walk until nearly 18 months.  She didn't speak until she was 3.  She was born c-section after hours and hours of labor where the monitors stopped several times.  The cord was wrapped around her neck and body 7 times.  She didn't really eat solid food til well past one.  Today, she is 9 years old and struggles with food issues.  She prefers baby food and only textures and tastes she is used to.  She is petrified of new food.

We've come along way.  Now she eats enough foods that I don't have to worry that she'll starve.  She loves cheese.  Cheeseburgers, cheese buns, cheese quesadillas, cheese and crackers, cheese sticks,  Cheezits and Cheetoes.  She'll eat an apple if it is cut up and peeled.  She likes mandarin oranges, packaged. Ham and bacon, sometimes chicken cut up small.  Pancakes, peanut butter.  Vanilla ice cream and Chocolate Chip cookies -- those are the only sweets she eats.  Baby food.  Baby food fruit and baby food lasagna and spaghetti.  That's about it.  But it is progress.

So Dysgraphia.  Kindergarten, it wasn't too noticeable.  Big letters, bad spacing. It's normal.  Writing her name upside down and backwards?  She'll out grow it.  She did.  First grade.  Mrs. Barrett.  Oh, how we love Mrs. Barrett.  She'd taught Dallin and Jordon and Charli in 5th grade. Now she was a first grade teacher.  I'm not sure what's going on with Cami, she told us.  She seems to have a hard time copying from the board.  Holding a pencil seems awkward to her.  I'm going to try some different things to see if I can help her.  I don't think she has ADD, but it's like she can't focus.

I said, look at her Preschool IEP. It addresses the issues she has. That's when we discovered that her preschool IEP had been trashed.  She'd been dismissed from all services.  What a shame.  Mrs. Barrett worked with her, we tried lots of things, including a private office, where Cami could work when feeling overwhelmed with sensory issues.  (She was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder as a two year old.) Finally, we all agreed that she needed a new IEP.  To make sure she didn't get lost in the system ever again, and to see if I could get a "diagnosis", I took her to Neuro-Education, Dr. Krenz.  As first grade came to a close, she was diagnosed with Dysgraphia.  I had never even heard of that, but as I studied the information, I was convinced.  Writing was no fun for this little girl.

Second grade brought Mrs. Woodward.  Cadie was in Mrs. Woodward's 2nd grade class.  Mrs. Woodward worked hard with Cami so that she could understand how best to help her.  Instead of 20 math facts, she gave Cami one line of math facts.  Instead of having her write her spelling words for the test, she had Cami give them orally.  What a difference that made for Cami.  Seriously.  This is one super smart little girl who just has a hard time writing.

Third grade has been a challenge.  One thing we have learned from previous years is that we need to meet regularly and early on with Cami's IEP team and her teachers.  It seems like strategies for working with Cami don't really get passed from teacher to teacher.  And at the beginning of the school year, the new teacher is getting to know the kids.  And this year, the new teacher seemed to believe there was nothing wrong with Cami.  Even though Cami has a long IEP that describes the accommodations she needs to be successful in the classroom.

About a week into school this year, I popped in after class to see how things were going.  The teacher told me, Cami is doing really good, but I just don't like it at all that she just sits there and does nothing.  I give her an assignment and rather than do it, she just sits there.  It really bothers me.

Well, I say, you know she has an IEP.  Sometimes a lot of work at once overwhelms her.

Oh, she says, Cami is perfectly capable of doing the work.  She just chooses not to.

Sometimes, teachers see kids with dysgraphia as lazy and unmotivated.  I think that is what is happening here.  Just saying.

We need to have a meeting with the IEP team.  Finally a meeting is scheduled. Not everyone is in attendance, but we talk a little about what will help Cami.  The teacher still thinks that Cami needs no support.  She thinks Cami is very smart.  Well, guess what?  Cami is very smart.  She has a learning disability that hinders her ability to write, to speak and to function in an overwhelming environment.  But she can read, she can add, subtract and multiply.  She remembers everything she is taught.  Just because someone has a learning disability, doesn't mean they aren't smart.

We just want her to feel successful in school.  We want school to be a positive experience for her.  We don't want her to feel singled out, or dumb.  I've heard of many parents with children with dysgraphia who pull them out of school and home school them.  They get so frustrated with the public school process.  I get that.  I sometimes wonder if that would be better for Cami.  But we've had such a wonderful public school experience with our other children.  And this is the purpose of school, right?  We will see how it plays out.

Last week, we had another meeting with her whole team.  Everyone was there.  Everyone made me feel like I wasn't just making up a LD for my child. (Because sometimes that what I think her teacher thinks about me.)  Maybe now we will get somewhere.  But I still worry that she won't be given the accommodations that she needs when she needs them.  So I will still pop into class every week to see how things are going.

I guess I'm going to be that parent.

Leaving on a MIssion

 On February 18, 2014, this boy opened his mission call.  Illinois Chicago West mission, reporting April 16th, 2014.  We bought suits, white shirts, shoes.  He worked and saved money, sold his car and got a nice tax refund to help fund over half of his mission costs.  (LDS missionaries pay $400 a month to serve)

 Look at him, all ready to serve!  Yesterday was his mission farewell. He spoke in Sacrament meeting.  The topic was fellowshipping.  The other 3 speakers used that word a lot.  Dallin didn't.  But here is the story he told (from his talk on Sunday...)

"When I was a kid, I always said I'd go on a mission. But when I said i,t I feel like it was more expected of me and I didn't have a choice, so in Sunday school when the teachers would go "who all is going on a mission"? I would raise my hand. As I became older and I graduated from High Schoo,l the realization hit me. "I don't want to go on a mission'. Now I didn't know why It came to me all at once, but I just didn't think a mission was right for me, so I moved on. I wanted to go to school so I did what all confused Mormons do. I moved to Utah. I made this plan in 2 weeks in September, and moved out. Now I was on my own. I think in the first year I lived out there I only went to church maybe twice. One was the first Sunday I moved and the second was to see a friend sing in sacrament. Now I may have not noticed at the time, but not going to church really wasn't doing me any good. It made me feel like I couldn't associate with anybody from church and that kind of forced me to hang with the non active Mormons. Now these people were pretty depressing, always had something to complain about they didn't seem like they had any goals.  I was raised better than that, so I knew what I wanted out of life. I wanted to go to school and I wanted a family. Now after having to move out of apartments for different reasons, I decided to move in with some friends at work. I was really excited to move in with them because they both seemed to have the same personality as me and they liked to have fun. They were both Returned missionaries and still active. When I moved in with them, they still went to church every Sunday. and they asked me if I wanted to go. I still wasn't ready to go back to church and eventually they stopped asking me and we just went on with our own lives on Sunday. 

Now here's the fun part of the story. On a Saturday sometime early October or  late September,  I was doing good. I had an awesome job that was super easy, I was going to school and everything was going ok but I just felt like something was missing. I was driving home from a friends house after his birthday and I parked in the lot of our apartment and just sat there. Now I know this was the Spirit but it was crazy. I hadn't gone to church, I wasn't praying or anything, but all at once I saw what my life was going to look like in 10 or 20 years. I had a family and I had a career doing something I loved and everything was going great. But I felt the Spirit telling me your not going to have this life unless you go on a mission. I seriously felt like I was going crazy because never in my mind did I feel this passionate about going on a mission. So that morning I woke up early enough for our 8 am session of church and my roommates were confused. I still didn't tell anyone I was planning on going on a mission, but that Sunday I made a meeting with the bishop and I talked to him about what it would take to get started on a mission. I just wanted to see how a week felt in that mind set, so I still didn't tell anyone until the next week. So that next weekend is when I broke the news and it felt so good to tell people that I wanted to go.

In helaman 15:7 he says: "and behold, ye do know of yourselves, for ye have witnessed it, that as many of them as are brought to the knowledge of the truth, and to know of the wicked and abominable traditions of their fathers, and are led to believe the holy scriptures , yea, the prophecies of the holy prophets, which are written, which leadeth them to faith of the lord, and unto repentance, which faith and repentance bringeth a change of heart unto them".

 So that leads us to today...... I know going on a mission is what I need to be doing. I'm so glad I figured this out before it was to late and i I wouldn't have gotten a chance. I really do think moving out to Utah was the best thing that happened and it helped me figure out who I am and what I want. It took me moving away from home for a year to figure this out, so I'm just telling all you young men and women to try to get your own testimony now, so you don't have to procrastinate."

Troy gave him a father's blessing yesterday afternoon and then the Stake President set him apart last evening.  I have felt so much peace regarding Dallin serving.  I feel like he is so ready for the adventure and that his life will be so blessed. As parents, we struggled with whether we had done the right thing in encouraging Dallin to go to Utah.  Even as we received calm reassurances that this was indeed Heavenly Father's Plan for Dallin, we would doubt and question our own faith.  What a blessing, a miracle from Heavenly Father, that dropped in our laps that October Monday afternoon. It has been in His hands all along and Dallin will continue to be in His hands.  So, I will miss him, but it is hard to shed too many tears, because I know without a doubt that this is where Dallin should be and I do not want him to be any where else.

So this morning, we took him to the airport at 4:15 am.  Sleepy eyed, we said good by, gave him hugs and wished him well.  He wanted to do his sailor man salute:

His friend Ryan met him at the Salt Lake airport.  They visited a few friends and then met grandma and grandpa for lunch. (They are also serving as missionaries in Provo -- I'll have to share more of that later).  Then Grandma and grandpa dropped him off at the Missionary Training Center, sending me the following picutre and message:

"Goodbye Dallin. He's excited!"  He looks pretty excited.  Now to just wait for that first letter!!