Gospel Teaching in the Home

(A talk I gave in Church a few weeks ago...)

When we were young parents, Troy and I had aspirations to be the greatest gospel teachers in the home.  We decided that our children would only watch the Living Scriptures videos.  You know what they are, right?  Scripture stories made into cartoons… where the kids can watch and follow the story of scripture heroes.  They will learn and understand the gospel, right?

One night, when Robbie, my oldest was 3, he stacked two chairs on top of each other.  Then he asked if I could help him stack more chairs.  Then he wanted to add the bar stools.  I asked him why we were stacking these chairs and stools so high.  We were almost to the ceiling.  He said, “I’m building a tower to the Lord.”  Yeah.  Like the tower of Babylon. As in the Living Scripture Video about the Brother of Jared from the Book of Mormon.  Fail.

A week later, I took my two boys to the store in the car.  They were bugging each other and Dallin kept touching Robbie.  Robbie would yell to stop and then hit Dallin.  So I had a talk with Robbie.  I told him he couldn’t hit Dallin and that he needed to try and stay in control.  He could just move over where Dallin couldn’t reach him.  We continued on our way, until I heard these words:  “If you touch me again, I will shock you.  Isn’t that right mom?  Because I am filled with the spirit and I can shock him.”

Oh my goodness.  We stopped watching Living Scripture videos and started watching Barney.

When I think of this topic, Gospel Teaching in the Home, many thoughts come to mind as to how I can be a better teacher to my family.  The “ if only’s” come now that my kids are older.  “If Only” I could have been as well organized as….  “If only” I had been more consistent at….  “If Only” we had taught that when they were young….

I saw a cartoon the other day.  It said, “At the end of the day, Did you let your 3 year old drive the car?  No?  See, you are a good mom!”

And I am here to tell you that no matter what you feel you are lacking in gospel teaching, or anything else for that matter, you are a good mom.  A good father.  A good brother, sister, grandparent.  You are doing your best in the circumstances you’ve been put in with the best knowledge you have at this time to love the Lord and to teach your families the gospel.

Today I want to focus on an often overlooked gospel teaching that should be center to our gospel teaching in the home.

I’m making a claim here that I am going to back up with scripture.  The often overlooked gospel principle is happiness. 

Joseph Smith once said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it.”

Happiness is the object and design of our existence.

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim of human existence.”

The Declaration of Independence gives us the inalienable right of the “pursuit of happiness”.

Even Bobby McFerrin sings, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

In 2^nd Nephi, we learn that after all Nephi’s people have been through… Left their homes, their riches, traveled in the wilderness, camping in tents for years, building a boat that they didn’t know how to build, coming to the promised land and building a new society, having to leave that because of huge family issues and then moving to a new site… in 2 Nephi 5:27, Nephi says, after all of this, “we lived after a manner of happiness.” (From Elder Holland talk)

We learn two things here.  One, that happiness is the object of our existence and two, happiness must be worked towards.  Heavenly Father doesn’t just give us happiness.  It is something that we must work for on a daily basis.  It is a battle that we can’t ever stop fighting for.  “Pursuit of happiness”, “pursue the path that leads to it”, “live after a manner of happiness.”

In Alma 27:18, we read that as Ammon reunited with his brethren after his mission to teach the Lamanites, he was overcome with joy.  The scripture says, “was not this exceeding joy?  Behold this is joy which none receiveth save it be the humble seeker of happiness.”

So how do we seek for happiness?  How do we teach this amazing gospel principle in our homes and to our families?

Elder Holland, in a talk he gave at a BYU-I devotional last September, gives us some suggestions.

He says, “Above all else, ultimate happiness, true peace, and anything even remotely close to scriptural joy are found first, and forever in living the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

We teach our children, our spouses, our grandchildren that only living the gospel can bring happiness. Many things have been tried, many books have been written.  But living the gospel brings us ultimate happiness.

What is living the gospel?  Being kind, when being kind doesn’t seem warranted.  Forgiving quickly and easily even when you did no wrong.  Loving unconditionally. Not only should we teach and show this kind of example within our homes, but this “gospel living” should be extended to everyone and anyone we meet.  And so, when your child has a bad experience at school with a friend or a foe, instead of turning all “momma bear”, we should listen and then help our children to understand and then do what Christ would do in that situation.

My oldest Robbie used to have a kid that would pick on him and pick at him constantly in elementary school.  The kid was relentless.  He would bully, he would call names, he would make fun of him.  Robbie and I talked about what he could do.  He tried moving to a different seat on the bus.  He tried ignoring it. Nothing worked.  One day, I suggested that perhaps the kid didn’t have many friends and that is why he treated Robbie and others so badly.  I said, “I wonder what would happen if you invited him over to go fishing?”  Robbie REALLY didn’t want to do that.  He did it though.  He invited the kid over and the kid came and fished and never, ever bugged Robbie again, except to ask when they could go fishing again….

Teaching our children to love others, to understand human nature and circumstances and to understand life through Christ’s eyes… that is gospel living and that leads to happiness.

Brother Holland cautioned against gossiping, backbiting, saying unkind things about others.  Even if we are doing it only within the walls of our homes, we are not living the gospel…. Our children hear it, and they pick up on it… 

Mother Theresa said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.  Be the living expression of God’s kindness; Kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

That is what we want to teach in our homes.  That is living the gospel.  It’s not all about the number of meetings you attend.  It’s not just about going to church every Sunday.  It’s not about how perfect you are at holding Family Home Evening.  Having Family Scriptures and family prayer.  Those things are important and will bless your lives, but it is really about teaching our children and our families to internalize living the gospel.  Choosing to be kind because it makes you or them happier.  Choosing to step outside your or their comfort zone to help someone else in need.  Choosing to smile even when you are having a bad day.  Living as Jesus Christ lived.  That is how we achieve happiness.

Avoid contention and anger. Don’t give voice to negative thoughts.  Elder Holland also says, “I plead with you not to waste a lot of time or energy or emotion thinking happiness is going to be in how much money you make or what size of house you live in or how attractive you are.  Happiness comes first by what comes into your head, a long time before material blessings come into your hand.”

Happiness is the gospel.  When this life is over, we learn in the Book of Mormon that we can obtain eternal happiness.  That is the goal.  That is why we are here in this world, in these circumstances, going through these experiences and having these trials.  We are working towards the goal of never-ending happiness. 

In Mormon 9:14, we read that when the judgement of the Holy One comes upon us, “he that is happy shall be happy still… and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still.”

Now if you are thinking ….Well I’m not happy, so there is no hope from me to achieve that…. Lets read the next vese.

“And now all ye that have imagined up unto yourselves a God who can do no miracles (because that is what you are imagining if you don’t believe you can learn happiness) God has not ceased to be a God of miracles.!”

Jesus said in John 14, “I am the way, the truth and the life…. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name… that will I do… if ye shall ask ANY thing in my name, I will do it.” He is a God of miracles and all you have to do is follow Jesus Christ and then ask for happiness and He will show you the path.  He cannot give it to you, just as you cannot give it to your children…  but He says, “that will I Do”.. Help me find happiness…”That will I do.”

I will close with Elder Hollands words:  In Alma’s counsel to his son Corianton he tells him how those who inherit the kingdom of God will be raised to happiness according to our desires of happiness.  “But he also sternly cautions: “Do not suppose that (without repentance) ye shall be restored form sin to happiness.  Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.”  Sin is the anithese of living “after the manner of happiness.”  Indeed those who believ otherwise, Alma says, “are without God in the world and… have gonce contrary to the nature of God: therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness.”

“I ask you to reject transgress in order to live consistent with the nature of God, which is the nature of true happiness.  Pursue the path that leads to it.