Last night, Troy and I went to see "Concussion", a movie based on the work of Dr. Bennet Omalu, a doctor who challenged the NFL on concussions and traumatic brain injury in players of football. In the movie, the disease is named Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, or CTE. It was a good movie, and would definitely be worth watching if you have a child playing football.
One line from the movie really bothered me though. An estranged wife of one of the former players who had died from CTE (suicide) said, "If I'd known he had CTE, I might have done more to help him..." The player had shown violence, heavy drinking, mood swings, anger. The former football player eventually committed suicide. All of this is characteristic of CTE. But it is also characteristic of mental illness in general.
On the outside, we have been conditioned to believe that someone who has it all (money, fame and fortune) and then starts "going crazy", with unjust anger towards those he loves, mood swings and violence has just "lost it". The fame (or as in the cases of former football players, the lack of fame) has gone to their head. We might say "mental illness", but because it comes on so unexpectedly, we might not even think it is really any type of mental illness. And so we marvel at their path of self-destruction and pat ourselves on the back that we would never go down that path.
And truthfully, we do this with all types of mental illness. We don't understand it. We don't know what to do with it. We think of the homeless... "They should just get a job." We think of the violent..."They watched too many video games. We think of those who commit suicide... "They had so much going for them... why on earth would they have done that?"
I guess that is what bothers me so much about the line in the movie. "If I'd known it was CTE, I might have done more to help him..." Because you thought he was mentally ill, you ran away? You didn't try to understand? You didn't try to help him? I get that this is a movie, and I don't know that his wife actually even said those words, but isn't that what often happens? When we get a diagnosis, we feel like there is a cure. But guess what, there isn't a cure for CTE and there was nothing else anyone could have done for those struggling with it but love them and try to understand them. Instead, the wife left him and he became homeless and crazy on the streets.
And that's how it is with mental illnesses. There isn't a "cure". You can medicate some symptoms. But you can't make it go away. Did you know that when people commit suicide, often they sincerely and deeply feel that the world will be better off with out them. They aren't thinking about how much it will hurt a family member. They aren't trying to hurt us. They only believe that the world would be better off if they weren't there.
I just think that we as a people need to do a better job at understanding all mental illnesses. I know (first hand) how difficult it is to live with someone struggling with a mental illness. I know how difficult it is to find help. The runaround from therapists and doctors. Or from the person themselves, who don't want to believe anything is wrong with them.
This was a great series of articles in USA Today regarding the treatment of the mentally ill:
http://www.usatoday.com/longform/news/nation/2014/05/12/mental-health-system-crisis/7746535/
I don't know how to finish this... My heart breaks for those who have family members in the middle of a struggle with any type of mental illness. Where does this fit in Heavenly Father's plan for us? Why are there not more answers?
My only advice? Love them for who they are. Learn who they are. Learn how their brains function. Try to understand their point of view and how they view the points around them. It's ok to be angry at dumb choices, but don't let that anger define you or your relationship with the mentally ill. Use your energy to advocate for better and more accessible services.
That's it. That's my thought.
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