UnSteady or Going Steady...

Sister Tomblin passed away on October 16. Her smile and her love will be greatly missed.

As a teenager, I constantly had steady boyfriends. Kevin, Tony, another Tony, Steve. I guess it wasn't constantly, because that is all the boyfriends I remember. (There were many more I really liked!) However, I was emotionally involved with all of them. I thought I might marry each one and each relationship brought lots of drama to my life. (Ask my mother, she'll remember!) I bring this up because now at the age of 41 and with a teenage son of my own, I am changing my tune. Parents with younger children... Read closely and be better prepared than me.

I've always assumed teen love was just par for the course. Of course there are boyfriends, of course their are steadies. But what if we've been wrong all along. What if teenagers are not suppose to have steady boy or girl friends... President Hinckley said, "When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don't need this, and neither do the girls." So how do we teach our children this concept, when having a boyfriend or girlfriend in school is so exciting, so cool, etc.?

There is a book called "Unsteady: What every parent absolutely must know about teenage romance" by JeaNette G. Smith, published by Covenant Books. This book gives detailed information on why our LDS kids don't need serious relationships yet and how to convince them (building their testimonies of this concept) It is an easy to read book and I would recommend it to YM and YW leaders, bishops and most importantly parents.

Some of the reasons JeaNette Smith gives for sticking with casual dating include: It's more fun, it expands your horizons, steady romances compromise same-sex friendships and your personal goals, steady romance diminishes parental influence, compromises family relationships and the future. It also produces restless adults. Then she tells us how to help young people truly understand the emotional harm in steady dating. Anyway, something to think about.