Lessons for parents from the Trek

I have always wanted to be a pioneer. As a child I was Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie. I wore my bonnet, not on my head, but hanging off my back. My bike was my horse and my dad built me a little cabin out by the garden. I loved pioneer stories. I was awed by their strength and endurance and their amazing faith in Heavenly Father. Pioneers became my heros, my role models. As I grew up, I gained physical strength, endurance, long suffering and until I knew that I would have made a great pioneer. Then, several years ago, Bishop Jamison burst my bubble. “How do you think you would like being a pioneer,” he asked. “You don’t even like to camp.” OK, OK. That is true. I don’t like to sleep on the ground, outside. I don’t like to be dirty and have bugs crawling around me. I don’t like my bedding to be wet with dew and I don’t really even care to cook outside. But, really… who does? I bet that a lot of the pioneers didn’t like to camp either.
When Bishop Squires called and asked Troy if we could go on the trek, my sweet husband told him that he would prefer not to, but that if his wife (that’s me) heard that we’d been asked and he had turned it down, he would be in big trouble! I was so excited. To push a handcart, to try my strength and see if I was as strong as a pioneer! As we were making preparations to go, someone asked if I had tarps that we could take. “Sure,” I said. “What are they for?” “Well, your sleeping on the ground, under the stars.” What? Outside? Not even a tent? Wait a minute…
I have to tell you that the thing I gained the most appreciation for on the trek was my husband. It was amazing to watch him with our “family” of 7 kids, bringing them together, getting to know them and loving them. It was fun to work together with him, talking about the needs of the kids, the spiritual concepts and experiences that he shared. He is truly an amazing guy.
The theme of this years trek was “Walk with me”, taken from Moses 6:34. The scripture reads, “Behold my Spirit is upon you, wherefore all thy words will I justify; and the mountains shall flee before you, and the rivers shall turn from their course; and thou shalt abide in me, and I in you; therefore walk with me.” Our purpose was to live worthy of his spirit and to walk with Him daily.
The second thing that impressed me about being a “Ma and Pa” couple on the trek was how my family of seven kids that barely knew each other came together in unity so quickly. In Mosiah 18, Alma has established the Church. He then teaches his priests in verse 21 “…there should be no contention… and hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.”
So I thought that for the remainder of my talk, I would share with you some of the direction we received as Ma’s and Pa’s to help pave the way for that unity in our families. My thought is that because some of these things helped me as a parent, they may also apply to you and your families to help develop more unity.
Doctrine and Covenants 88:119 gives a pattern for developing family togetherness in our homes. It teaches us to “establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of order, a house of God.”
In establishing a house of prayer, we were asked to have family prayer with our trekkers at least every morning and evening. We began the trek with a family prayer. Prayer brings unity because you are gathered together, asking help and blessings to extend to all family members. You are pleading for the spirit to guide you and abide in you. Along with family prayer, we had family hugs. After demonstrating the “Cinnamon Roll” hug, Morgan, who was our “big brother” of our group said, “It was a little awkward, I’m not going to lie to you.” But by the end of the trek, we had kids coming from all over, asking about the Cinnamon Roll. The thing about family hugs is that it’s an opportunity for children to express love to each other and to feel love from parents and brothers and sisters. The other thing we were asked to do was to gather in a tight circle so that eye contact could be made with everyone and that no one would be left out.
In establishing a house of faith, we were asked to hold morning and evening family time. During that time, we again would be in a close circle. Troy asked different kids to share favorite scriptures and why they liked them, the kids shared their feeling of why they were on the trek and each kid shared a story of a pioneer ancestor. Now, we don’t all have Mormon pioneer ancestors, but regardless, we gain a lot from our ancestors. We learn of their hardships, their joys, and their day to day lives and we gain understanding of knowledge and appreciation for how we should live our lives. We also threw in “trials” for our kids. For instance, Morgan, who was the strongest in our family, got a snake bite and wasn’t able to pull the handcart for 15 minutes. The other kids had to believe that they could pull the handcart without him. After a very short time, Morgan said, “I think I should be done with this snake bit now.”
In our own lives, we face trials as a family and as individuals. We can establish faith by not grumbling, by understanding that these things make us stronger and by praying for individuals who are struggling.
For a house of learning, we were asked as Ma & Pa to do something they called processing. That is to look at experiences that have happened throughout the day, ponder what is going on both spiritually and physically and how those experiences affect every day life. In other words, learn from our life experiences. For example, our company of 4 handcart families were always at the end of the line of 25 handcarts. Whenever we climbed a very steep hill, the first handcart would stop a short distance from the top of the hill to rest. Which left our company in the middle of the hill, having to start our momentum all over again to make it to the top. What can we learn from this experience? How can we apply it to our everyday lives?
As your own family has experiences, learn to talk about them and find life lessons in those experiences. (This process also helps in sharing experiences when you give talks.) We were also asked to have personal study for about 20-30 minutes per day. Again, we developed a house of learning.
To develop a house of order, I found these things interesting. First was the dress code. We were to all be in pioneer clothes, no exceptions. This put us all in a position of equality with all external barriers, images, cliques and popularity removed. What remained were equal and potentially humble families ready to be taught. The kids were asked not to bring any electronics. I did bring my cell phone and every time I brought it out, I couldn’t believe how fast I was drawn back into the world. One of the girls in our family said of all the things she missed, she missed her cell phone the most. Sister Bischoff told me that Bishop Squires had told her that he had attended a multi-stake priest-laurel dance. He noticed that as the kids were dancing with each other, 75% of them were also texting. One of his purposes in removing the electronics was to get the kids to socialize, play and talk with each other. We had huge fun in the games we played and Ninja rolled through the entire group very quickly.
In our own home, we apply this rule on Sunday. No TV, no computer, no I-pods. It is one of my favorite days of the week because we are all truly together. We talk, play and interact for a whole day. It’s also one of the things I enjoy about camping as a family. We have minimal distractions and we are together.
Two other trek rules that apply to a house of order were that Ma’s and Pa’s don’t pull the handcart, rather we were to support and encourage the kids in their pulling. Sometimes it is best to leave the children to figure out problems and situations together without interference from Mom and Dad. This lets them come together in unity. Secondly, Ma and Pa should never do any work by themselves. This rule pierced my heart. It is definitely something I should work on at home. I prefer to assign chores and then do my own work in solitude. But I see the benefit of having children work beside you. Besides learning the correct way to load a dishwasher or weed a garden or can peaches, you are building unity with your child and building memories.
“Establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of order, a house of God.” By following this pattern of unity in building our homes, our homes become a house of God.
President Howard W. Hunter, in the April, 1990 General Conference said, “a child has the right to feel that in his home he is safe, that there he has a place of protection from the dangers and evils of the outside world. Family unity and integrity are necessary to supply this need. A child needs parents who are happy in their relationship to each other, who are working happily toward the fulfillment of ideal family living, who love their children with a sincere and unselfish love and who are committed to the family’s success.”
I know that as we work to build family unity, we strengthen testimonies, draw closer to Heavenly Father and learn to depend more on Him for our happiness and our eternal life. I know that Jesus Christ is our big brother and that he lives. He gives us a perfect example to follow and teaches us how to have our “hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.” In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Oh Where, Oh Where did summertime go?

We hosted a family reunion in July, with all my brothers, sister and their spouses and kids, along with Mom. It went much too quickly, but we had a wonderful time, riding the Hiawatha Trail, watching the talent of the kids, eating really good food and visiting.





We re-sided our 1935 home and added larger windows this summer. We discovered that we had absolutely no insulation in the 6 inches between the outer wall and the lathe and plaster. Troy had Dennis double the size of our bedroom window, which greatly suprised me! The home looks amazing now!






My son Robbie has a band,called 3 Years Later. In his band are Merril, Jackson and Mark. Rob sings and plays guitar, Jackson is lead guitar and Merril is the bassist. Mark plays drums. They have been playing together since 7th grade and now are seniors in High School. They have been working to record an album (all original songs) before they finish H.S.

Troy and I also served as Ma & Pa of our Stake Youth pioneer trek. It was so much fun and so rewarding. I've always wanted to be a pioneer; stems from my childhood-- I think I was Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie from age 7 to 10. The kids pushed and pulled handcarts over sand dunes and hills for 3 days. We slept under the stars and worked together to build family unity. Dallin was in our company (of four handcarts -- with a different Ma & Pa) Robbie was in another company toward the front of the line (about 25 handcarts, 6 companies) Rob chose to wear a sombrero (along with a few friends) because it made him happy!




Next up: The Kootenai County fair. Jordon, Charli and Cadie are showing lambs and then selling them. School will start September 2. What a great summer!